


Crumpled feelings

by My_Evak_Heart



Series: ELIOTT + LUCAS [36]
Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-11-14 06:32:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18047366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_Evak_Heart/pseuds/My_Evak_Heart
Summary: Eliott is really hurt that Lucas threw away the drawing





	Crumpled feelings

Lucas was sleeping soundly when Eliott woke up. He smiled, taking in how beautiful he was when he was asleep, his face so relaxed and peaceful. Eliott brushed a piece of hair away from Lucas’s face, chuckling as it stubbornly fell back.

Light was coming through the window and you could hear birds chirping outside. Reaching to the nightstand, Eliott grabbed his phone, checking the time. They had gone to bed late last night so Eliott wasn’t surprised when he saw what time it was.

Regardless of the time, Eliott decided to get up and prepare some breakfast for his boyfriend, knowing Lucas’s sweet tooth would rather eat rolled crepes drizzled in chocolate than a panini.

Eliott gently removed Lucas’s body from him, slipping out of bed. He stretched his arms over his head, about to head to the kitchen when something caught his attention on Lucas’s desk. A crumpled looking piece of paper. Eliott got closer and his heart sank when he recognized the first drawing he left Lucas.

He picked it up, eyes filling with water as he stared at the crumpled hedgehog in bed. He had drawn this with his heart and poured his feelings into these little drawings, did Lucas  _not_  like them? Everything he was too scared to say out loud, he scribbled it on these pieces of paper.

Lucas stirred on the bed, a soft whine leaving his lips when he realized Eliott wasn’t there. Slowly waking up, he rubbed his sleepy eyes and saw Eliott standing in front of the desk, a piece of paper in hands, tears in his eyes.  _Shit_.

“Eli-”

“Did you do this?” Eliott asked, his voice small and shaky.

Guilt filled Lucas’s stomach, seeing Eliott so upset, now realizing that maybe these drawings meant a lot more than he thought.

“I can explain.”

He was sad, angry and in pain and he was convinced Eliott was playing him, that he didn’t give a shit about him when Lucas threw the drawing away.

Turned out Eliott did give a shit about him.

“These drawings, as insignificant as they seem, it’s me saying the things I didn’t have the guts to say or do. It’s me opening my heart to you, showing you my true feelings.” He paused, scanning the content of the desk. “Where’s the rest? Did you throw it in the trash too?” Eliott asked, pain in his voice.

Lucas shook his head. “No. I-”

“Where are they? I need them, now.”

Immediately, the brunet scurried from the bed and went to get them, safely tucked in a small box, the one he kept his most precious belongings like photos of him and his mom, a ticket from small art exhibit Eliott took him on their first date and all kinds of memories.

He brought it on the bed and Eliott joined him, the drawing still in his hands, keeping a distance between him and Lucas.

“This one, I drew it because, as much as I wanted to stay in bed with you that Saturday and spend the whole weekend together, I couldn’t. Everything was so amazing that morning and I wish I would’ve  _never_ had to leave your bed, quit my  _love nest_ , my newfound  _paradise_ …but, I had to go home and face Lucille, apologize to her. I watched you sleep for so long, dreading the moment I would have to leave.”

Eliott set the crumpled drawing down and picked up another one. The one where Eliott no25473 misses his chance and Eliott no36572 walk toward his destiny.

“What you said about keeping mentally ill people out of your life really hurt me and, in order to protect myself from getting hurt from your future and inevitable rejection, I backed off and decided that you and I couldn’t happen. I tried to push you out of my life but, truth is, I couldn’t stop thinking about you, Lucas. You were on my mind all the damn time. When I saw you in the courtyard, sad and alone, I wish I had the courage to go to you and talk to you. Make things better  _for you_ ,  _for us_.”

Eliott picked up the last one, the one Lucas found in his Biology textbook. 

“By the time I drew that third one, everything had gone downhill. I truly felt like I had lost you. You don’t know how many times I stayed up at night replaying the decision I made in my head. I was trying to find a way,  _any_  way, to get you back. When I slipped the note while you were in the cafeteria line, I saw your hand. I didn’t know what happened but I knew that I was probably the cause of it. After that, I couldn’t live with myself. I was desperate for you to text me when you saw the drawing. I missed seeing you, talking to you, laughing with you…god I missed kissing you and holding you. I felt like something was missing from me…”

As he was listening to Eliott explaining his feelings and thoughts behind each drawings, Lucas felt worse and worse. He didn’t know these drawing meant so much to Eliott - and to him too, until Mika plucked it out of the trash. To Eliott, it must feel like Lucas threw his  _heart_  in the trash.

He had to tell Eliott how much he regretted throwing that drawing away. It was a mistake, a  _huge_ mistake.

Lucas gently took Eliott’s hand and looked up at him apologetically. “That first drawing… I looked at it for so long. Whenever I missed you or just wanted to remember how I felt that morning, I would go back to it. But, there came a point where looking at it made my heart ache, Eliott. I saw you that night at the party. You  _promised_ that you weren’t with her anymore and you were back in her arms, kissing her like I meant  _nothing_  to you. You betrayed my trust and I felt like a fool. You have to understand that it hurt too much to even look at the drawing anymore. It made me feel like I was played by you and I fell for it all…it just hurt a lot.”

Eliott pulled his hands away, shifting uncomfortably. “You don’t understand… I’ve been betrayed by people all my life too. The moment they find out that I’m the way I am, they run away from me. Just like you said it, better to stay away from mentally ill people. And, as selfish as it sounds, I thought that I was doing something that would save both of us pain. I didn’t want us to fall in love and feel all these things, only for you to realize that you don’t want someone like me around,” he explained, tears returning back to his eyes.

Lucas looked down, he hated to see Eliott cry, he hated it even more when he was the cause of those tears who were blurring his eyes.

Instead of messing up and saying things the wrong way, Lucas simply flipped the box over, emptying all its content, making Eliott really confused.  _What was he doing?_

‘There’s a reason why your drawings were in there. I didn’t put them here just to put them away. I placed them in here because that’s where I keep everything that’s precious to my heart. It’s the box I’d save if my house was to catch fire and I could only take one thing. What I’m trying to say is: you are important to me, Eliott, and everything we do together means so much.“

Curiously, Eliott started looking through the content spilled on the bed, picking up photos of baby Lucas with his healthier looking mom, a ticket from their first date at the art exhibit, another one from that time they went at the Eiffel tower alone with the cliché selfie they took up there, the tiny hedgehog keyring Eliott got him for their one month anniversary - it used to be on Lucas’s keys but it ended up breaking because it was cheap -, cute sticky notes Eliott had left around and a handful more.

Eliott was speechless. There was so many meaningful things hidden in that box, things he didn’t know Lucas had kept. Without saying anything, he pulled Lucas in his arms. ’'I’m sorry for thinking that you didn’t care,” he said, kissing right at the junction of Lucas’s shoulder and neck.

Lucas hugged back, feeling relaxed in his arms. “I’m sorry that I said the things that I did and made you upset.” He smiled and leaned up to give him a soft kiss only to be interrupted by the rumbling of his stomach, demanding to be fed.

This made Eliott giggle. “The kisses will have to wait…shall we go make crepes first?”

“Or, you can make the crepes  _and_  kiss me as you make them,” Lucas suggested and who was Eliott to say no to his cute face.


End file.
